He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
