yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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