i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
