Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it hurts more in the daytime
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
