doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
