Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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