"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
