I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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