Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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