Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
