I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My bed smells like the plague
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