Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
