don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize
