Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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