The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
