Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
