Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
