Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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