if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
