just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize