Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
