We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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