Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
