okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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