I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
