Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
