so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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