it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
