It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
