who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
