Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize