brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
