508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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