sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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