who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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