Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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