It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize