what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
