Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
