I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
