Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
