I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
