his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize