You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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