ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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