If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
