Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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