omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
