he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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