2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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