Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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