That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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