Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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