i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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