I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
