i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
