porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
