If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
