i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
