I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
