Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
wow bdsm is so cute
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