i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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