Slut skills are useful in every country.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
