Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
