I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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