Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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