i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
