i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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