i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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