I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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