Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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