why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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