I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
