Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
