WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
